The topic I probably get asked about the most when it comes to motherhood: chores. Chores, chores, chores.

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.
Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭15‬

I don’t see this verse being limited to age and if you have children, you know that they like to do things! Now, sometimes, the things that they’re doing, in our eyes, aren’t very productive or they’re just making messes. However, truly children seek to do things. They like to have autonomy, responsibility and most importantly they like to work. They like to work with their hands and with their minds so I introduced chores really early on. I’ve introduced it as early as 15 months but usually 16 months is my sweet spot. They are walking. They’re starting to talk. They can comprehend what you’re saying and they are able to start doing little things. The goal of chores is not to lighten my load and I think a lot of people mistake giving your children chores for you just being lazy and not wanting to do the task. That’s not it. If anything, it’s actually the opposite. Teaching your children these tasks require more time, energy and actually more work. So no, it is not being lazy to want your children to learn how to do chores. You’re showing them how to be responsible, take authority and dominion over things – which is a Biblical command that we have!

I love to see my children take dominion and have authority over their bedrooms by how they clean it and how they keep it. I love seeing the smile and satisfaction on their faces from their accomplishments of keeping a room clean for an entire week or for making their bed every single day. It has been so beautiful and fruitful! I just want to encourage mothers – you’re not being lazy by giving them chores. You’re actually doing a disservice by not giving them chores. Chores are basic human needs and things that we need to know in order to function properly and so the earlier we teach him that the better it is.
Now I will say, when I am doing chores, I am not grumpy. I’m not complaining and I am not pouting. I sing worship songs. I have a smile on my face. I really take seriously what I look like when I’m doing chores and I have found that my children model and do the exact same thing. My children do not grumble and complain when it comes to doing chores and I simply think that’s because they’ve always witnessed me doing it with a smile on my face. They don’t see it as a “chore”. They just see it as something that needs to be done.

I think as adults, we’ve gotten into a really bad habit of making chores seem as if they are this awful, never-ending task. However, as I’m folding laundry, I say out loud “guys aren’t you so thankful that we have clean clothes that we can wear?” when I’m doing the dishes, “aren’t you so thankful that we have groceries that we can eat and that Mommy can make us food and we can eat fresh food?” I have literally witnessed my children doing chores, singing hymns, with smiles on their faces and with such joy and excellence and I think these are things that have to be modeled. We have to point them back to Scripture so they can see that these things that we’re doing are actually biblical

Now let’s talk about age groups and what is appropriate for each age. Now obviously each child is different but here a very low structure that you can follow if you desire.

15 to 16 months

This is when I start having them grab their own forks, bowls, spoons, cups and things that they need for meal time. All of these items are accessible and low to the ground so it’s not like they have to get on this giant stool and get up high. Another thing I have them do is whenever we get home, I have them put their shoes back. They know exactly where their shoes go and they just kind of follow suit with the older kids. Everyone just puts their shoes, socks, coats, hats, whatever all back into place.

The main thing that I work on and the first legitimate chore I give is putting away the silverware! They will stand in their learning towers (here is my favorite one) and I will give them the caddy with all the clean silverware and I will walk them through putting them back. Now this is what I mean when I say that giving our children chores takes more work. At first, they’re just gonna take big handfuls and just throw it into the drawer – which is fine! We want to encourage them to do the task. We’re not expecting our 16 month old to put the little spoon and big spoon in the perfect spots. That is unrealistic and not gonna happen for several months, at least six months. Just doing this task is great! I encourage them. I bless them. I speak life over them. We get super excited by them just doing that simple task and then we move on. Later, I’ll go in and re-organize everything. Sure, this takes me a little bit longer, but efficiency is not the goal. I’ve done this with all of my kids. It takes roughly about six months for them to be able to do it properly and for you to not have to go back and correct them. So, usually, by the time they’re 2 (if you start at 16 months), they’re already doing this with great excellence! This is the case with our two-year-old now!

2 to 3 years old

This is when they can start putting their own toys away, cleaning up their own playroom and picking up their books. They can like loosely make their crib or bed, depending on where they’re at (folding out their bedsheets and things). Depending on your laundry system (this might not work for you), I have my two-year-old go with my older kids to collect dirty laundry and she’s actually been able to do it on her own a couple of times, which is so cute! I have a giant laundry basket that’s on wheels so she just goes to each bedroom and picks all the laundry out and puts it into the basket. Also, around 2 to 3, I have them come into the laundry room with me and pour the laundry soap in (We love using Truly Free cleaning products! MILENA will get you 30% off). At this age, it is a great time to start involving them in all things home. I feel like it’s a bit of a shock if we wait until our kids are 5, 6, or 7 years old to learn these things. Not that it’s too late but when you start them young, it’s just what they’ve always done and they know what it takes to run a household. Something I constantly remind our kids that we all live here and so we all need to do what it takes to live here. I remind them that we need to take dominion over the things that the Lord has blessed us with and care for those things. We all love living in an orderly home. I have noticed my kids do not like messes and they get bothered by it and they start picking up! There’s so much research behind this but overall everyone just thinks so much better when we have a clean space.

3 to 4 years old

This is when I introduced taking care of their own bedrooms so that means picking up their toys, making their beds in the morning, etc.

4 to 5 years old

This is when I involve them in unloading the dishwasher and my kids have gotten so good at this and we do it together. I put on worship music and usually it takes only one worship song for us to get through putting all of our dishes away. I also have my kids help me with sorting our laundry. We use a basket system that you can see here. So, the kids will help me organize and put laundry into everyone’s categories. At this age, they will help with cleaning out the fireplace and help with bringing wood in. Overall, as I am doing little things here and there, I have them join me. They love scrubbing the toilets, vacuuming, and dusting, I also hand them a rag and hand them a spray bottle and they get to work! They just love it, they really do. It has not been this huge hassle. I feel like that’s the biggest question I get on this topic and for us, it hasn’t been an issue.

As mothers we need to look at our attitude and how we’re treating this topic because that’s what they will perceive it as. If we are grumpy about doing chores every day, they’re gonna be grumpy about it cause that’s what we’re doing. However, if we’re showing them that this is a blessing and a joy to be able to care for what we have, that is going to be the same attitude that they will have! I can totally expand more on this on a YouTube video. You ladies let me know, but start slow. If you’ve never given your child chores, don’t expect them to be able to clean a bedroom top to bottom. Have realistic expectations and give them a lot of grace. This takes a lot of patience on our end. It’s harder before it gets easier. I don’t have advice for children 6 and up because my oldest is five so I can share more as they do more as my kids get older, but I pray this blesses you!

6 to 7 years old

Once they get a little older and become more proficient with using a knife, cutting, and being around the stove, I will select one child for each meal to be my sous chef. That can include a variety of things, whether it is helping me add spices, cutting something up, keeping an eye on the meatballs and letting me know when three minutes have passed, putting something in the oven, or taking something out of the oven.

That is a very elevated chore. I would say it is certainly the most desired one in our home because who does not want to be around cooking and making fun things? We also give bigger chores, such as helping take care of the dogs in some capacity or doing more difficult tasks that require skill and a higher level of responsibility.

I will say that the higher the responsibility, the more eager they are to do it. In our family, we have found that they need to show a certain level for a specific number of days of self control and having control over their bodies and actions. We apply this same standard to specific gifts they may want, especially things like a pocket knife or a bow and arrow. Those are items that require responsibility, and they need to demonstrate they have the self control to handle them safely. We approach higher level chores the same way, especially those that are more tedious, labor intensive, or require greater understanding and responsibility.

I hope this is helpful. I would love to know how you approach chores in your home.