Last week, I received a dm that was so raw and I believe a lot of women can relate to what she was saying. I loved her vulnerability, acceptance, as well as conviction. I love that she wasn’t sitting in a place of shame and guilt but in a place where she was hearing what the Lord was saying and she was eager to step out of where she was!

Today,  I am going to talk to you about taking the authority back in your home as well as having victory over your home. I am going to touch on 3 specific areas that I believe women can grow idle in or tend to neglect. Then I am going to give you some fire to go along with it ( God’s Word!). I’ll also provide you some practical tips so you can serve and honor the Lord!

 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. 

Proverbs 14:1

If you have seen a home before with a mother that is wise, with a mother that tames her tongue, selfless, does things without being grumpy, submits to the Father and her husband – you will see the fruit of that directly in her family! If you have never seen what it looks like for a woman to be foolish or folly in her home, just read the proverbs and you’ll learn real quick what it looks like!

As I begin to list out these three areas, I pray you would take a moment to reflect on the passage below and use this as a frame of reference as you continue to read

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:16-25

MOTHERING

When it comes to mothering, I want to encourage you to not become too passive, lenient, and uninvolved in your children’s lives. Our children are a gift from the Lord that He has entrusted to us. 

Maybe how your children speak to you or to others does not bring glory to the Lord. Perhaps the video games they play, the friends they hangout with, the books they are reading, or the way they spend their time are areas you have become lenient in. Maybe you have gotten too tired to correct and let it go. But mothers, let us not forget this passage

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

This verse guides our family in all aspects. What we watch, read, do etc. Ask yourself “ what is having influence over my children?” “what has authority over them?”. As a mother, let me encourage you, what you may have accepted yesterday or tolerated yesterday – let today be a new day! The Lord’s mercies are new every morning. Just because you have done x, y or z for a long time does not mean that today can’t be the day you nip it in the butt! Your children may be upset and we can accept that. That will be the consequence of our own neglect but do not be discouraged! We can go to the Lord and ask for forgiveness for becoming idle in a specific area and go to our children and do the same. We can explain to them “ I was blinded, I was distracted, please forgive me. Moving forward we are going to change some things!”. Again, your children may not appreciate this now but they will grow up to call you blessed!

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 

Proverbs 13:24

The word diligent really stuck out to me. To instruct and train your child is a job that requires your full attention, all day long, everyday of the week. Ginger Hubbard has an entire podcast that I highly recommend you listen to! It’s entitled Resetting Parental Authority. Life happens. Sometimes we are really diligent in mothering and then over time, without fully realizing, we become lenient and all of a sudden we think “ woah how did we get here?”. Be encouraged to take back the authority in your mothering!

My friend Nava and I created an entire study on the Armor of God that directly relates to this topic because we do not wage war against flesh and blood! In the study, we talk in depth about taking the authority back in your home. Grab some mothers and do it together!

MARRIAGE

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.

Proverbs 27:15-16

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.

Proverbs 27:15-16

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:9

These verses are so convicting and I think it is very important we take the time to ask ourselves the following questions (we can even take it one step further and ask our husbands these questions):

• Am I a nagging wife?
• Am I my husband’s crown or am I the rottenness in his bones?
• Am I a quarrelsome wife?

Has the love for your husband grown cold? Are you withholding love, grace, and affection? Genesis 3 tells us that it will be a woman’s desire to rule over her husband. However, this is not God’s desire! You may have grown in bitterness or resentment toward your husband but take back the victory! Serve and love your husband unconditionally. What are you called to do as a wife? Do that. Regardless of how our husbands act we need to still live in such a way that honors God and live out His design for marriage. Of course, if our husbands are asking us to sin, that is an exception and we are not under their authority. But in most cases, we as women allow them not taking the trash out or them not doing something we asked them to dictate our emotions and God calls us to refrain from that!

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:1-4

I will take my hand and place it upon my head and pray that I will have a gentle and quiet spirit because everything in 1 Peter 3:1-4 is against my flesh! So, I need to be very prayerful about it! 

I created a Marriage Victory Challenge that I want you to prayerfully consider joining. It is a 7- week long email challenge where each week you’ll receive a new challenge with your marriage in mind that is not from the world but from God’s Word! It is offensive to the flesh. So, be prayerful on if you should join because if you come at it with a fleshly perspective, I am not sure you will bear much fruit.

HOMEMAKING

God is a God of order. Look at how he created the Earth. Do our homes have order when it comes to taking care of it? Our homes need to be run efficiently and effectively. Otherwise we will become slaves to our homes or we just become idle when it comes to taking care of it. The Lord has given you authority in your home, let’s steward it well.

Dale Patridge did an entire sermon entitled The Glorious Homemaker that really changed my outlook on the role we have in stewarding our homes. Whether this is something you find yourself doing well or it is something you have grown lazy in doing, I highly recommend you listen. One thing that stood out to me that he said is that if you are a mother to multiples (2 or more children) you have the ability to affect over 100 people just by the way you steward your children and tend to your home. When we are in our homes, it can feel isolating. It can feel so mundane. It can feel it won’t have any impact on anyone. The truth is it will.. it does! What is the impact we will leave?

There are very practical ways that I believe we can take back the victory in our homemaking! Whether you stay at home or you work a 9-5. We can have systems in place that aid us in stewarding our home and stewarding it well. I’ll link some of my YouTube videos below that I pray bless you in this area

PRAYER

An extra area that I wanted to mention is prayer. We need to have authority for our prayers. We cannot walk around with living in our flesh. We need to crucify it and strip it off. Every. Single. Day. We need to put on the Armor of God, the Fruit of the Spirit! The day has not started until we have done this. If I don’t consume myself in God’s word in the beginning of the day, it is so easy to allow everything else around me to consume me!

We cannot grow idle in our prayers and in our time with Jesus! How do we interact with our best friends or our husband? Are putting Jesus in His proper place in our lives and giving him the proper attention?

Don’t just read this and remain unchanged. Today is a new day! The Lord’s mercies are new every single day. Yes, there may be some things you have done wrong but do not sit with that guilt – that is conviction. Conviction is one of God’s greatest gifts to us! Convictions pivots us towards The Way, the cross. Whether it be our children, our marriages or our home – let us steward it well so in the end we can hear “well done good and faithful servant!”