Ladies, I am SO honored and stirred up that you’ve willingly chosen to participate in this marriage victory challenge.
That tells me 2 things:
1. You are a wife that desires to love and serve her husband!
2. You ultimately have a desire to submit to your God-given command and role as a wife and desire to walk in that AND see the fruit that comes with that submission.
Each Friday, I’ll present you with a new challenge. I want to encourage you to NOT GIVE UP. You are about to fight FOR your marriage so expect and be prepared for push back. Expect your husband to possibly be sarcastic, rude, confused or even thinking you’re playing a weird joke on him.
Sister, KEEP ON TRYING. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and him changing your heart.
The goal isn’t to change our husbands. That’s Gods job.
The goal is to have the Lord work through our hearts and transform us from the inside out that it bleeds into every area of our lives, including our marriage. Here’s week one of the marriage victory challenge!
It’s so much more fruitful and beneficial for your marriage to take any issue or something that’s bothering you to GOD first. He is truly the only one capable of creating lasting change within our husbands, but more importantly within ourselves. And who knows, perhaps the Lord will lead you to say something eventually, but oftentimes I’ve seen change happen overnight without me having to say a WORD.
Let’s look at what the Bible has to say!!
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
– Proverbs 25:24
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
– I Peter 3:1-2
The first verse is essentially saying it’s better to have practically nothing than to share a beautiful home with a quarrelsome wife. Why? Because women were created to nurture. We nurture our children, but we also nurture the atmosphere of our home! The gift of nurturing can be used to build up our homes or tear them down. This verse isn’t an attack on women but to simply highlight the power and influence women have in the environment of our homes. Ladies, let’s commit to using it for GOOD. Let’s commit to building up our homes and encouraging our husbands!
The second verse is then saying if your husband doesn’t obey the word, they without you saying a single word will be won over by your CONDUCT. Not nagging, not silent treatment, but by your conduct when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. In the NLT translation, that part says “when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
What does nagging look and sound like?
“You never help around the house.” “You only think about yourself.” “I can’t rely on you for anything.” “Why don’t you spend more time with me?” “Why don’t you lead our family?”
Nagging never needs to take place. It’s disrespectful, degrading & unproductive. It’s the opposite of what 1 Peter 3:2 states. Resentment and bitterness will take root in both your heart AND your husband’s heart.
This Week’s Marriage Victory Challenge
“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.”
In a moment of wanting to nag, ask yourself…
“Do I sound like a leaky faucet?” “Will my words speak life over my husband?” “Will this soften my husband’s heart or harden it?” “Will my words promote peace or strife?”
From now until next Friday, intentionally spend at least 15 mins in prayer for your husband every single day! In a moment of wanting to nag- PAUSE and pray. Here are some verses to pray over yourself and your tongue.
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
– Proverbs 12:4
“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”
– Proverbs 14:1
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.”
– Proverbs 15:1-2
“But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it, we bless our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and saltwater? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.”
– James 3:8-12
Maybe you do this already, and you’re thinking “well, that’s not really a challenge for me!” Perfect. Then spend 15 minutes declaring specific scriptures over your husband and over your home. Prayer walk and declare peace in the atmosphere of your home; declare unity and purity over your marriage!
This will most likely be the most difficult week because nagging is so natural and easy to do- what’s challenging is taming and using self-control to hold the tongue. You will likely experience spiritual warfare (see below!) because you are now fighting FOR your marriage vs. against it.
Now- I want to make this very clear. I’m not asking you to be mute and have no say in your household. I’m asking you to die to yourself and your sin in order to serve and respect your husband. With learning how and when to tame our tongue, our conduct will do all the talking.
I’m so confident that this time next week you’ll experience a noticeable change in your home and in your marriage. See you next Friday for the marriage victory challenge #2! I’ll be praying for transformed marriages & transformed tongues!
The Full Armor of God
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